


Ring of Fire

by justsomebucky



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Missing Persons, Missing in Action, One Shot, Reader-Insert, Songfic, dangerous mission, implied sexytimes, you're a singer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 13:25:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11464506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsomebucky/pseuds/justsomebucky
Summary: AU based on the song "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash. An all-consuming love like theirs can either keep them warm at night, or burn everything they know to the ground like a wildfire.





	Ring of Fire

> _Love is a burning thing_
> 
> _And it makes a fiery ring._
> 
> _Bound by wild desire_
> 
> _I fell into a ring of fire._

It all started with _a look_.

Seemed simple enough, right?

You were minding your own business, fulfilling the one and only job you were hired to do for Mr. Tony Stark that night – sing.

Specifically, sing a lot of older songs for Captain freakin’ America’s birthday party. He was turning ninety-nine, and Iron Man himself wanted to help Cap celebrate properly.

You were just some local singer that Stark had seen once or twice when he was out with his girlfriend. Sometimes you had a piano accompaniment, but you usually preferred to sing with a live jazz band. He’d taken Pepper Potts out for their anniversary and slipped you a cool hundred bucks to sing ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love With You’ while they slow-danced across the floor alone.

Even you couldn’t deny that it was a really romantic gesture.

That landed you this gig, which was paying enough to cover your rent for two months. _Two months!_ You agreed to sing for the party as soon as you heard the offer.

Stark even paid for you to get all dolled up like you were waiting for your man to come back from the war. You had pin curls and red lipstick and a conservative yet classy dress to complete the look. You felt really great, and it showed when you swaggered up to the stage to start singing your heart out.

Halfway through your second song, you saw _him_.

You knew who he was. You’d seen his face plastered across the news for both the good and bad events of his life. 

James Buchanan Barnes, the former Winter Soldier, known to his friends and colleagues as Bucky, was standing right in front of you, staring up at you with stormy blue eyes. His gaze was so intense that you found your face growing warm, a rare reaction to heavy scrutiny for you.

He didn’t move from that spot for your third song. It was a slow number, a melancholy little tune about finding love. Weren’t they all back then? What a romantic era.

The lights were dimmed as couples held on to each other, but Bucky didn’t move an inch, frozen to his spot in front of your tiny stage, eyes roaming your face.

Soon, it was like you were singing just for him.

 

> _I fell into a burning ring of fire,_
> 
> _I went down, down, down and the flames went higher_
> 
> _And it burns, burns, burns,_
> 
> _The ring of fire, the ring of fire._

He found you after the party, once Mr. Stark had paid you. Since the night was over and you had no reason to stick around, you were about to grab your bag from the coat rack and leave.

Bucky found you, though. His hand gently touched the arm you had extended toward your bag, and you were startled as you turned to see that it was him.

Those eyes…this was the first time you had ever seen his eyes look anything but haunted. 

Bucky looked unsure of himself at first, like he’d made the move out of panic or sheer instinct instead of formulating a plan. His mouth opened and closed twice, before his blue eyes flickered down to your pouty lips. His fingers curled around your arm, his touch sent little sparks along your skin, and you knew you were already hooked.

Apparently, you had him hooked, too.

Thankfully so, because you knew you wanted him no matter his troubled past. You wanted to tell him he was beautiful and sexy and kind and worth every last good thing that ever happened to him.

You turned to face him fully, meeting his intense gaze with a look of your own as you reeled him in.

 

> _The taste of love is sweet_
> 
> _When hearts like ours meet._
> 
> _I fell for you like a child,_
> 
> _Oh, but the fire went wild._

You admitted right there by the coat rack that he had captivated you for most of the night.

Bucky told you the feeling was mutual. 

When another pair came through to grab their things, Bucky gently pulled you by the hand down the hall and out to a small balcony for privacy. 

A flirty smile fought its way to your lips. “That’s awfully forward for someone who could barely talk to me a minute ago.”

“I just- I’m not quite ready to let you leave yet, Doll,” he murmured, reaching a tentative hand out to caress your face.

You shivered at his touch, though the summer air was warm and inviting.  “My name is Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he breathed, the corner of his mouth lifting a little. “It’s fitting.”

You instinctively pressed closer, reaching back for him, wanting him to occupy as much of your personal space as possible.

“It’s all an act, Bucky,” you told him. “I’m just…me.”

He frowned at your words. “What do you mean, ‘ _just you?_ ’”

“I’m a nobody.”

“If you’re nobody, then I’m nothing,” Bucky replied. He unconsciously clenched his left hand, brushing it against your hip by accident. He hadn’t meant to call attention to his prosthetic limb.

You reached for it, pulling the offending glove off of his hand and pressing his metal fingers back into the skin at your hip as if he was holding you tight.

“You’re a somebody to me,” you informed him.

“I have a feeling you’re going to be everything to me,” came his soft reply.

His kiss was sweet and tentative, and even though you weren’t the type, you ended up lost in his kisses well into the night.

The two of you fell asleep in his room later, wrapped up in each other as if you’d known each other for years, or maybe a lifetime. 

 

> _I fell into a burning ring of fire,_
> 
> _I went down, down, down and the flames went higher_
> 
> _And it burns, burns, burns,_
> 
> _The ring of fire, the ring of fire._

“Two weeks?” You heaved a great sigh as you flopped down onto his simple bed. “Bucky, we barely see each other as it is! I’m supposed to start my show this week, and I was hoping you’d be able to see it.”

“I can see it when I get back,” Bucky offered as he shuffled around his room, shoving clothes and personal effects into a duffle bag. “It’s not like I can refuse, Y/N. This is what I do.”

“The show’s only _on_ for two weeks. I’m just an understudy, remember? Carrie will be back from her break after that.”

Your voice must have sounded pathetic enough that he stopped what he was doing to look at you. In fact, he stared at you for probably half a minute without a sound, without flinching a muscle.

His next words were said sharply. “You knew what I did for a living when we started this relationship six months ago.”

“This wasn’t what you promised me, Bucky!” You stood up and moved over to him, your hands on your hips indignantly. “You told me you wanted a little normalcy. What happened to that?”

“I still want that, but I have so much to make up for, Y/N, you know that. I can’t just leave Steve and everyone behind just because you-“

His voice trailed off, though you could tell he was dying to let the words out.  

Your eyes widened. “Say it. Say whatever you were about to.”

Bucky ran his metal hand through his long hair, letting out what sounded like a frustrated growl. “I can’t neglect everything because you need a better reason to be with me than just being with me.”

_Ouch._

Time for a little honesty of your own.

“I’m scared, Bucky, don’t you get it?” Your voice was tearful and it made you cringe. “I’ve never been scared of or for anything or anyone in my entire life! I’ve been okay on my own, then I met you and I fell for you, and it just fucking hurts _all the time_ , Bucky!”

You took his silence as a chance to keep going. Hell, why not let it all out? If you were gonna fight you were gonna do it well.

“I get that you have this hero complex now, Bucky, I do. Your loyalty to Steve is a wonderful thing, and your bravery is a gift that humanity probably doesn’t deserve. But there are nights when I sit here wondering what you’re up to, how much danger you’re in. I never know if you’re going to come home in one piece. I never know if you’re going to come home at all, and when you do you shut me out, you lock yourself away because you have this never-ending guilt.”

Bucky remained silent, eyeing you from under his baseball cap and the shadow it cast on his blank features. 

“Loving you is like pouring gasoline on myself and waiting for you to light that inevitable match. It’s every time you walk out that door for another mission.”

You felt so defeated in that moment that your chest physically ached. There had never been any fight from you before about his work, but before, he struck a balance between missions and his life with you. 

He was both your weakness and your strength, and you were _losing_ him.

“I can’t compete with the ghosts in your past, can I, Bucky? You’ve done your penance already, a thousand times over.” You swiped furiously at your cheeks as the stupid tears fell one by one and drained any resolve you had left from your body. “You have to forgive yourself, or we won’t ever make it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said finally, turning back to his task at hand. “I have to go.”

“I’ll never be enough.” It was more of a realization, a statement to the room than to him. You nodded at his back, making a quick decision in your mind. “Okay. I get it. Well, make sure that you don’t die, okay? I’ll see you around.”

Before he could even react, you turned and ran out of the bedroom and down the hall to the elevator. You heard him calling after you, but he didn’t catch up to you until the door closed and his shocked face disappeared from sight. 

 

> _I fell into a burning ring of fire,_
> 
> _I went down, down, down as the flames went higher_
> 
> _And it burns, burns, burns,_
> 
> _The ring of fire, the ring of fire._

Three weeks.

That’s how long Bucky had been gone. No one had heard from him, no one could find him. Even Steve was at a loss. Captain America’s best friend was radio silent for the first time in a long time, and to say the Avengers were on edge, well…

Not that you saw it firsthand; you hadn’t been back to the tower since the night you and Bucky fought, the night he chose work over you, and you chose to be anything but rational.

Of all people, Sam was keeping you up-to-date about Bucky and his potential whereabouts. Steve was off looking for him, with Natasha and Clint in tow.

You felt helpless. The one thing you feared anymore was losing Bucky, and there you were, pushing him away…losing him to whatever condition he was in, if he was even-

_No._

_No no no. He’s alive._

_He has to be alive._

By the start of the fourth week, you were a freaking mess. You were thrilled to not have a nightly obligation to a show now, because you couldn’t sing if you tried.

Sam let you have his tower credentials while he joined Steve in his search (and rescue) operation, so you started sleeping in Bucky’s room.

It gave you a small shred of comfort to be there, smelling his scent and having at least some familiarity left in your life. It also stopped you from imagining the worst, because you could picture him in the tower smiling at you, offering you waffles, stealing the covers just to agitate you…

The empty walls echoed your loud sobs each night, and every single tear was another prayer and promise to anyone who was listening – if Bucky came home alive and in one piece, you’d never fight again. You would never question his love, never ask for more than he could give you.

You hated yourself because there was a chance the last thing you would ever say to the love of your life was ‘ _see you around’_ and not ‘ _I love you.’_

> _And it burns, burns, burns,_
> 
> _The ring of fire, the ring of fire,_
> 
> _The ring of fire, the ring of fire._

“Y/N?”

You grumbled, rolling over on your side to face away from the offending noise and light so you could keep sleeping. You were so freaking tired, so drained from the last few weeks that you didn’t even have the energy to face the world.

Everything went quiet again, and you felt yourself drifting back to sleep, until you felt the familiar caress of cool metal fingers on your cheekbone.

Your eyes opened wide and you found yourself staring at the love of your life, home again as he leaned over his bed.

Bucky was covered in cuts and bruises, with a particularly nasty mark across his forehead that had been carefully stitched closed. He had obviously showered and been looked over by Stark’s team before he wandered up to go to bed.

Then he found you.

You sat up quickly, scooting against the headboard as disbelief filled your body. “You’re safe?” you whispered, wondering if maybe you ought to pinch yourself or something. “You’re really home?”

At that last word, Bucky gave you a timid smile. “I’m home,” he agreed. “And you are, too, right?”

“Oh my god,” you breathed out, kneeling to grab him and hold on tight. “I’m so sorry, Bucky, I’m a shit girlfriend, I never should have said those awful things, I shouldn’t have-“

“Shhh, it’s okay,” he soothed, trying to stop you from shaking quite so hard.

How ridiculous that the man who had just been missing was the one comforting you.

His hand stroked the back of your head gently, as if to reassure the both of you that you were really together again. “I’m here and you’re here and that’s all that matters to me right now.”

You pulled back and clutched his face, eyes scanning his injuries. “Are you sure you’re okay? What the hell happened to you?”

Bucky shook his head. “Not tonight, Doll. I just- can we just be together tonight? I promise I’ll tell you everything but I- I just want to hold you.”

“Whatever you need,” you promised. “However long you need it, I’m here, Bucky. I’m not going anywhere.”

He turned the light back off, and the two of you situated yourselves on the bed so that he was holding you like he wanted, with your head laying on his chest. You had his shirt scrunched in your fist and your legs tangled with his as though he might slip away from you again.

If he slipped away again, you wanted to go with him. 

“You told me that loving me was like waiting to burn,” he said quietly. “That’s how it feels for me when I have to leave you, too.”

“Is it worth it?” you pondered, shifting against him slightly. “For you?”

“Every time.”

“I love you, Bucky Barnes. I love everything about you.”

You felt his metal hand glide down your back. “I love you too, Doll.”

“Maybe you should show me how much,” you whispered into the darkness, smiling a little when you heard his heart thump a little faster.


End file.
